Wilson Campbell Kennedy died in utero sometime between Friday evening, August 6, and Saturday morning, August 7, 2010. His death was due to a tragic cord accident. He was delivered via c-section on Saturday evening. Upon delivery, doctors discovered that the umbilical cord was wrapped three times around his neck. Wrapped umbilical cords are not uncommon, occurring around 15 – 20% of the time, but an umbilical cord that’s wrapped three times is quite uncommon. Two of the three loops were not tight and would not have cut off the blood supply, but one of the three loops became too tight and cut off the blood supply, causing Baby Wilson to pass away. It is likely that all three wraps had existed, unbeknownst to anyone, for a good portion of the pregnancy. Cord wraps are not visible via sonogram.
After his delivery, his father and I were able to spend about four hours with him, which we consider to be four of the most special and amazing hours of our life. Our baby was a beautiful, perfect boy who was perfectly healthy aside from the cord accident. He looked very much like his father, with a chin and mouth that resembled Jed’s almost completely. He had ten perfect fingers and ten perfect toes and beautiful long, thin legs (which he decidedly did NOT get from his mother’s side of the family). His belly was round and his skin was so soft and he had lots of beautiful brown hair. He weighed 7 pounds, 6 ounces and was 20 1/2 inches long.
We never got to hear him cry and I never got to experience feeding him, but we love him more completely and perfectly than we have ever loved another human being. He was a physical example to us of all that is good in the world and we will hold him in our hearts forever.
Words cannot express the deep sorrow we feel right now. There is no way to make up for the loss of a life with so much potential. I feel robbed of the opportunity to be a mother to him, and Jed feels robbed of the opportunity to be his father. Yet, we are not unaware of the many blessings we have in this life, including out love for one another, which will ultimately be what carries us through this difficult time.
Right now, we are focusing on dealing with the loss of our son and the loss of everything we have spent the last 10 months preparing for. We do not expect our journey forward to be an easy one and it is certainly not the journey we have chosen, but it is the journey we are on and we know that as long as we are on this journey together, we will make it.
The next few posts will likely not be filled with humorous tidbits, as we are having trouble finding humor in life right now, but we do have joy in our love for one another and remember the time we spent with Wilson with great joy. We were blessed to have that time with him and are continually blessed by those around us who love us.
Love you, Jed, and Wilson so very much.
That was very beautiful, Theresa. I know that it must have been very difficult for you to write about losing Wilson but I hope that writing about the experience will help with your healing journey.
Beautifully said. Love to you as you move forwards, all the while keeping him in your hearts.
That was amazing Theresa, absolutely beautiful and amazing. Keeping you and Jed in my thoughts every day.
Dear Theresa and Jed, Thank you for sharing your wonderful words and thoughts. We are so happy that you were able to be with Wilson as long as you were. Those memories will be with you forever and, along with your love for each other, will get you through this really hard time. You have so many friends and family waiting to do what they can, so let them! We love you!
I am crying, and you know me, so you know that’s saying something. Thank you for sharing your heart with us and writing this. I am grieving in my own small way from way out here, but know that I love you and am praying for you.
My heart breaks for what you all are experiencing. With love, Marci
its been hard to believe it all…thank you for this entry, it means something to know what has happened and be able to hear your thoughts. i love you and jed and i’m so sad i’m not going to hold baby wilson in few weeks when i come home. whatever you need, i’m here for you, even while i’m still out here in maui. i know you’ll get through this. love you guys
So beautiful, Theresa. Thank you for sharing it with us. I am sending you both love and prayers.
(((HUG)))
im am so sorry for your loss. i can only imagine the pain you are feeling right now. your strength to get past this comes through your words. your beautiful son is in Jesus’s arms right now and when that day comes when God calls you home. he will be the first person you will see. it may seem like a long time away. but when that day comes it will only seem like you waited a short while. thank you for taking the time to write this entry. it must have been hard. i pray for your family and for God to get you through this time of grief so that you can heal and continue your life as planned. i love you Theresa my thoughts are with you and you family everyday.
Theresa, your words are just beautiful…and I know how difficult that must have been to write. Thank you for sharing this with us and know that you, Jed and Wilson are loved by all of us.
We love you Theresa and Jed.
A beautiful post, Theresa. Mark and I have been and will continue to pray for you and Jed and your families. If you need anything, even if it’s to get away from your home for a few days, our home is open to you. I’m sorry that I won’t be there on Friday; I wish I could be to love on you…as much for my sake as yours. (I’ll be having knee surgery that morning, otherwise I’d be in RVA in a heartbeat.)
Thank you for sharing with us what must be the most tragic and personal experience. You have so many of us that love you and are here for you when you are ready.
Theresa,
There are no words that seem to work in these moments. I just wanted to let you know that I’ve been praying for you and your family.
What an absolutely amazing entry, thank you for sharing. My heart goes out to you and Jed during this difficult period. I wish you two the best during this challenging journey. Know that your family and friends have you two in mind and heart. If you need any help along the way, don’t hesitate to reach out. We love you.
Theresa, I am so incredibly sorry for your loss, I can not imagine how you must be feeling right now. I’m so glad that you and your husband have each other to hold on to during this difficult time. I have you all in my thoughts and prayers.
-Ellen
Theresa that was beautiful and unbelievably heart wrenching. You and Jed are wonderful and I love you both so very much. I share your grief and am here as always for whatever you need.
You and Jed are in our prayers
This is a beautiful tribute to your son, and to your marriage. We are holding you in the light, and sending you love, strength and energy.
Theresa,
Your friends here at work are heartbroken and stunned by the tragic loss your family is suffering. I think about you and Jed every minute, and wish there was something i could do to help besides just tell you that. It sounds like you’re having a service Friday–if you’d like to share the details we’d love to send a token of our love, thoughts, and prayers–but completely understand if you’d prefer privacy. Please call if there’s anything David and i can do for you–anything at all.
Theresa,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. My heart is absolutely breaking for you and Jed! I cannot even begin to imagine the pain you are experiencing right now. Thank you for sharing your story and please know that you are in my prayers during this difficult time. Love to you!
Theresa – Nathan, Alma and I are so deeply sorry for your loss. Your love and strength shines through very clearly in your writing and we hope that helps both you and Jed heal in time. We will hold you, Jed and Wilson in our hearts and prayers. We are here for you if there is anything we can do.
Theresa, Jed, and Wilson,
I am so sorry for your loss and Ryan and my parents and I are thinking of you often and during this time. What you wrote about your time with Wilson is so incredible and so filled with peace in such a trying time. I admire your strength and yet I admire your weakness as well because you admit to and show both – a true sign of beginning to heal. I wish nothing more than to be with you in person right now. You are very loved by all of us.
Theresa –
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I hope that this memorial to your time with Wilson will provide some comfort to you in the grieving process. You know that my thoughts are with you.
Beth
Theresea,
We have not seen each other in a while. From what I remember of you, sweet, caring, compassionate, always smiling. I know you ARE a good mother. I’m sorry that you have experienced something that all parents fear. My husband and I send our prayers and well wishes to you and your entire family. You now have a special angel looking after you in heaven. Hopefully as life continues you will be blessed with more beautiful children. But Wilson will always be your first precious little boy.
LOVE LOVE LOVE!
Brandy
Theresa and Jed – our thoughts and prayers are with you. We are sorry that we can’t make it on Friday but know that we are lifting you up constantly. We love you guys.
Theresa,
I’m just a stranger but my heart is completely broken for you and your husband. There is no good from this but I cherished every second with sons today. Wilson’s brothers and/or sisters will be a beautiful testament to your family’s love and they will surely grow up never wanting. All my love to you guys.
-Brandt
(Brandy’s Husband)
Theresa and Jed,
As you said so eloquently, words cannot express the feelings you or the ones who love you have at this time. But the beauty of your expressing the ultimate love and joy you have for each other will take you through. The Psalmist is a beautiful picture of expressing the hurts that life deals us and yet comes back to God’s everlasting love is present even then.
We KNOW you will not only “survive” this sadness, but you will become more “beautiful” people because of it.
With sharing your grief, praying for you and loving you,
Mairlyn and Scott
May God Bless you during this difficult time. It is likely the most touching thing I have read in my 51 years. ………….Don
Theresa,
I’m thinking of you and Jed. I’m so incredibly saddened and keeping you in my prayers. You are such a strong, wonderful person. Blessings… Elizabeth
Theresa & Jed —
So terribly sorry to hear of this loss and yet very inspired by your grace.
Theresa,
I’m am so sorry for your loss. Your words were touching and inspiring. You and Jed are in my prayers.
Theresa and Jed,
My heart and arms are hugging you both…I am so sad. May God hold you both throughout…
Theresa & Jed,
Our hearts are crushed for your loss, and I can’t find words, only hugs to express.
Love,
Russ & Laura
[…] my pregnancy. It was stressful. After losing Wilson, I just had so much fear. And anxiety. And anger. I couldn’t talk about it with […]